Breaking Free

The sin of my abortion kept me a captive for far too long.  While I was trapped in darkness, God was hustling to free me.  Hustling.  

But guess who else was hustling to keep me trapped? The devil.  A war was waging for my soul, and as it waged, I listened to the lies of the devil.  I believed that I would live in the darkness forever. 

But God is always faithful, and He never ever stopped fighting for me.  His quiet voice found me in the deepest, darkest corners of my soul.  

I believe that the Holy Spirit interacts with us each in personal ways, sometimes calm, sometimes quite loud.  I call those loud moments “2×4 moments”.  The kind of moment where God Whacks me over the head with a 2×4 to get my attention.  

My redemption and reversion happened only after a series of very painful 2×4 moments.  It was not only a second crisis pregnancy, but a third that was my 2×4 moment.  And I had a choice to make.  Repeat the sin of abortion, or stand firm in the truth, give it all to God, and release my secret.  I would be a single mother of two children. 

I chose to break free from my abortion, and embrace the forgiveness and grace Christ offered me.  

If we say, “We are without sin,” we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing.

1 John 1: 8-10

I posted the following video on Facebook.    

It went viral.  Within a week it had over 700,000 views.  



The backlash from the above video was traumatic to say the least. I had no footing, no confidence in the truth I had shared, and I was not ready for the horrible onslaught of messages I received.

While many messages were encouraging, many more were downright mean. The attack came from self proclaimed Prolifers. They called me a murderer. They told me I deserved to die like my first child. They told me I should rot in prison for ever.

The video also took a tole on my relationships with family and friends. In the end, it was too much to carry on my own, and I removed the video.

Here is an example of one of the messages I received in response to the video:

My friends, it’s time we stop this.

It’s time we take responsibility for our words. There is far more to this story and too much to put in a blog post, but for now I can tell you this:

God did not stop working in me, and He did not give up on me. My video may have been deleted, but the desire for truth, redemption, grace, healing and sanctification was not.

For every woman who surrenders the secret of her abortion and returns to the loving arms of Christ, there are a dozen more still trapped in the shadows.

Don’t be the person who stands in her way.

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