Suffering After Abortion

It’s October. 9 years after the due date month of my lost child. The child abortion killed. The child I killed. It gets hard every year around this time. Many people tell women who have had abortions that they don’t have the right to mourn their child. That they chose this, so they can’t feel sadness. I’m here to tell you, this is a lie.
Women who have had abortions DO grieve their lost children. The pain never ever goes away. And grieving them is a way to honor their loss, to remember that they were alive.
Pro life people are so quick to say “there is healing!!” And while there IS HEALING in Jesus Christ, and a fount of mercy and forgiveness, healing will not take away this deep sadness. Only reuniting with my baby in heaven will fix this pain.
And to debunk the myths that “women don’t regret abortion” and “women feel relief after abortion” and “you don’t have the right to mourn your aborted child” and “your life will continue as normal after abortion” and also that “healing will take away ALL your pain”, this is me, crying in my bathroom, asking Christ to soothe this pain yet again.
And He will.
So girl, if you are in your bathroom crying for your lost baby…. I love you. I love you so so much. And so does Christ. And so does your baby. And you have every right to mourn the loss. And every right to know you are forgiven and set free. And every right to speak about the life of your child, however brief.
Edited to ad: this post is for women who feel like they are alone, who hear the lies and the myths and believe them. If we don’t talk about these things, they have power. If we talk about it, the power over us disappears. I am not seeking attention, and if you think that’s what this is about, you may be too far removed from the truths of abortion. And if you think this post is negatively harming you or your reputation, too bad. This is a perfect example of how abortion effects women. For years. It cannot be “put in the past”. This is PTSD rearing its head. I suggest you educate yourselves on PTSD and trauma anniversaries. This link is useful.


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