Be cautious

My 2 cents when it comes to crisis pregnancies in your life:
 
If a woman comes to you, or you hear about her crisis pregnancy there are so many things you can say to encourage her. Like, “wow! Congratulations!” “What can I do to help you?” “What do you need?”
 
When I was pregnant with my daughter, one of the MOST PAINFUL THINGS I heard was this: “you can/should give her up for adoption! So many people want to adopt!”
 
In my experience this reinforced the lie that I wasn’t “enough” to be a mother. I know there are thousands of couples anxiously waiting to adopt babies. But as a mother who experienced crisis pregnancy, I feel that putting adoption on the table can be a painful and damaging thing for mom and baby if not done extremely carefully.
 
Here’s why:
 
Moms in crisis already don’t feel capable of being pregnant. They need encouragement. Pushing adoption can make them feel less worthy or capable of being mothers.
 
Moms can get the idea that all these people are putting their name in her hat to get her child when she hasn’t even decided what to do. Her child isn’t a commodity that people get “dibs” on.
 
A woman in crisis needs support for HERSELF and HER BABY right now. That includes counseling, ultrasound, maternity clothes, safe havens, FOOD, etc. Immediate needs are paramount. Wait on the whole adoption thing.
 
If a woman chooses life and is handling her pregnancy, please don’t assume just because she is single, that she is open to adoption. Those comments still hurt me and bring out my “mother bear” today. My child wasn’t going anywhere. Once I found my strength, thanks to many loving supportive people, my child was staying right where she belonged.
 
With me.

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